A takeaway ordering app has introduced a new charge it says reflects the hidden labour of modern dinner: deciding. The new line item, the Decision Fatigue Surcharge, is applied automatically to customers who begin opening the app hungry.
The company said the fee is a transparency measure. ‘People think ordering food is just pressing buttons,’ a spokesperson explained. ‘But there’s also the emotional cost of scrolling, the strain of choosing between two identical curries, and the physical burden of watching the delivery time change.’
Under the new pricing model, the fee starts small and rises gently. Customers who add items quickly receive a discount for decisiveness. Customers who compare restaurants are charged for ‘research’. Customers who remove an item and add it back are charged for ‘internal dialogue’.
To justify the change, the app unveiled a new dashboard showing aggregate national feelings at dinner time. The dashboard includes a metric called Collective Indecision, displayed as a colourful line that spikes around 7pm and then collapses into snacks.
Critics said the fee punishes hungry people. The company responded by offering a compassionate alternative: Confidence Checkout, a mode that hides most options and presents the customer with a single, bold choice, plus a button reading ‘trust it’. Executives said this will reduce stress and improve conversion.
Customers have reacted with mixed emotions, which the app said it would be happy to measure. Some praised the honesty. Others said they would rather the app simply charge money and stop narrating their life. The company said it understands and has added a setting called Quiet Pricing, which hides the fee name and displays only the total, for users who prefer surprise in a controlled format.
The company confirmed further improvements are planned, including a late-night add-on fee that activates whenever someone says ‘go on then’ to themselves.
