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GP Surgery Rolls Out ‘Cheerfulness Routing’ That Books Appointments Based On How Cheerful You Sound

GP Surgery Rolls Out ‘Cheerfulness Routing’ That Books Appointments Based On How Cheerful You Sound

A GP surgery has introduced a new phone system it says will reduce pressure on appointments by prioritising patients who sound ‘appropriately concerned’. The system, branded Cheerfulness Routing, routes callers based not on symptoms but on tone. The surgery said the change was necessary because demand is high and everyone keeps describing their situation in full sentences. Under the new approach, patients who sound upbeat are offered the earliest … GP Surgery Rolls Out ‘Cheerfulness Routing’ That Books Appointments Based On How Cheerful You SoundRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Cinema Trials ‘Interpretation Captions’ That Translate Dialogue Into Helpful Opinions

Cinema Trials ‘Interpretation Captions’ That Translate Dialogue Into Helpful Opinions

A cinema chain has begun trialling a new accessibility feature it says will improve viewing experiences by reducing confusion. The feature, called Interpretation Captions, starts as ordinary subtitles and gradually escalates into confident interpretations of what the characters ‘really mean’. Managers said the change is aimed at helping audiences keep up with modern films, where people often speak in subtext and occasionally do things without explaining them. ‘We noticed … Cinema Trials ‘Interpretation Captions’ That Translate Dialogue Into Helpful OpinionsRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Council Unveils ‘Smart Queue’ That Unlocks Services Only After A Constructive Tone Pledge

Council Unveils ‘Smart Queue’ That Unlocks Services Only After A Constructive Tone Pledge

A local authority has unveiled a new digital upgrade designed to make public services “more efficient and more respectful.” The centrepiece is a device known as the Smart Queue, a touchscreen unit that will only let residents access basic services after completing a constructive tone pledge. Officials said the aim is to reduce “unproductive interactions” and to ensure requests arrive “in the right emotional format.” Residents attempting to report … Council Unveils ‘Smart Queue’ That Unlocks Services Only After A Constructive Tone PledgeRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Charity Shop Rolls Out ‘Reason Ticket’ That Prints Your Reason For Buying A Mug

Charity Shop Rolls Out ‘Reason Ticket’ That Prints Your Reason For Buying A Mug

A charity shop has introduced a new till feature it says will modernise second-hand shopping by capturing not only what customers buy, but why they buy it. The system, known as the Reason Ticket, prints a short explanation of the customer’s motive alongside the price. Staff said the upgrade helps reduce awkwardness at the counter. ‘People used to just purchase things,’ a volunteer explained. ‘Now they can also declare … Charity Shop Rolls Out ‘Reason Ticket’ That Prints Your Reason For Buying A MugRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Supermarket Launches ‘Properly Arranged Aisle’ That Relocates Every Product To Where It Was In 1989

Supermarket Launches ‘Properly Arranged Aisle’ That Relocates Every Product To Where It Was In 1989

A supermarket chain has unveiled a new store feature it says will restore order to modern shopping: a dedicated Properly Arranged Aisle, where every item is placed according to where customers insist it ‘used to be’ in 1989. Managers described the aisle as a response to the growing problem of shoppers being forced to adapt to reality. ‘People don’t come here to learn,’ a spokesperson said. ‘They come here … Supermarket Launches ‘Properly Arranged Aisle’ That Relocates Every Product To Where It Was In 1989Read more

by Greg Realman—
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Think Tank Launches ‘National Mood Ledger’ To Measure Mild Annoyance In Real Time

Think Tank Launches ‘National Mood Ledger’ To Measure Mild Annoyance In Real Time

A policy think tank has published a new report claiming it has finally solved a longstanding problem in public debate: numbers keep being used as if they mean something. The group’s solution is a new metric, the National Mood Ledger, which converts everyday emotions into neat scores that can be cited with the authority of a spreadsheet. The report begins in a familiar register, promising “rigour,” “transparency,” and a … Think Tank Launches ‘National Mood Ledger’ To Measure Mild Annoyance In Real TimeRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Broadcaster Debuts ‘Balance Dial’ That Automatically Centres Whoever Looks Most Certain

Broadcaster Debuts ‘Balance Dial’ That Automatically Centres Whoever Looks Most Certain

A broadcaster has rolled out a new on-screen graphic it says will restore “balance” to televised discussion by showing viewers where the centre really is. The graphic, branded the Balance Dial, appears as a clean dial with the word “Middle” printed in reassuring font. Within seconds of launch, it became clear the dial has a strong preference for whoever looks most certain. Producers described the tool as a public … Broadcaster Debuts ‘Balance Dial’ That Automatically Centres Whoever Looks Most CertainRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Office Introduces ‘Plain-English Time-Out’ Where Staff Must Rest Until Their Opinions Become Simpler

Office Introduces ‘Plain-English Time-Out’ Where Staff Must Rest Until Their Opinions Become Simpler

An office has introduced a new wellbeing policy after management concluded that the workplace’s biggest risk is employees developing thoughts with more than one clause. The policy, known as the Plain-English Time-Out, requires staff to take a mandatory pause whenever they express a view that contains context. Managers said the change is designed to prevent meetings becoming ‘unnecessarily educational’. Under the policy, any employee who begins a sentence with … Office Introduces ‘Plain-English Time-Out’ Where Staff Must Rest Until Their Opinions Become SimplerRead more

by Greg Realman—
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Coffee Chain Introduces ‘Plain English Counter’ That Won’t Serve Until You Stop Saying ‘Literally’

Coffee Chain Introduces ‘Plain English Counter’ That Won’t Serve Until You Stop Saying ‘Literally’

A coffee chain has introduced a new service point it says will speed up morning queues by reducing the one ingredient it believes slows everything down: uncertainty. The new station, branded the Plain English Counter, is staffed by a barista and a small screen that flashes a single instruction: say what you want like you mean it. At first, the policy looks harmless. Customers are asked to place their … Coffee Chain Introduces ‘Plain English Counter’ That Won’t Serve Until You Stop Saying ‘Literally’Read more

by Greg Realman—
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Broadcaster Debuts ‘Middle Finder’ That Automatically Centres Whoever Interrupts First

Broadcaster Debuts ‘Middle Finder’ That Automatically Centres Whoever Interrupts First

A broadcaster has rolled out a new on-screen graphic it says will restore “balance” to televised discussion by showing viewers where the centre really is. The graphic, branded the Middle Finder, appears as a clean dial with the word “Middle” printed in reassuring font. Within seconds of launch, it became clear the dial has a strong preference for whoever interrupts first. Producers described the tool as a public service. … Broadcaster Debuts ‘Middle Finder’ That Automatically Centres Whoever Interrupts FirstRead more

by Greg Realman—