Politics

A policy think tank has unveiled a new national metric it says will “end the tired fight between facts and feelings” by scoring feelings as facts, provided they present themselves in a tidy spreadsheet. The group’s flagship release, the Evidence-Based Feelings Index, ranks common emotional reactions by “credibility,” “impact,” and “how confidently they can be delivered while pointing at a chart.” The launch began conventionally with a glossy report, … Think Tank Launches ‘Evidence-Based Feelings’ Index After Discovering Numbers Can Be MoodyRead more

A ministerial office has unveiled what it called a “streamlined transparency package” designed to make public information “more accessible to the human spirit.” The package replaces written reports with a short interpretive dance performed beside a lectern, followed by a question-and-answer session conducted entirely through polite nods. According to staff, the move is intended to reduce “document fatigue,” a condition said to occur when members of the public are … Minister Announces ‘Streamlined Transparency’ Where Reports Are Released As Interpretive DanceRead more

A national waste initiative has launched a new “Confidence Bin”, a special recycling container that accepts any item as long as it is placed inside with enough certainty. The scheme, described as a “common sense simplification”, aims to reduce confusion by replacing labels with vibes. Rather than separating paper, plastic and glass, households are encouraged to hold an object over the bin and state clearly that it is “basically … Confidence Bin Introduced To Simplify Recycling By Accepting Items Based On VibesRead more

The Treasury has introduced a new “Cost Of Living Index” intended to capture the everyday reality of household budgets by measuring a simple indicator: the volume of the exhale made at the checkout. Officials said tracking prices and wages had become “too number-heavy” and risked missing the mood of shoppers as they stare at a receipt like it has personally offended them. Under the new system, economic pressure will … Treasury Unveils New ‘Cost Of Living Index’ Based On How Loud You Exhale At The CheckoutRead more

A local council has launched what it describes as a “common sense consultation” designed to “bring the public back into decision-making”, before clarifying that the public will be asked to contribute primarily through nodding. The initiative, rolled out this week as part of a wider “back to basics” programme, invites residents to attend a series of listening events where officials will present a preferred conclusion and then pause for … Council Launches ‘Common Sense Consultation’ That Accepts Feedback Mainly Through NoddingRead more